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Jess Work In Progress

i am tired of how i am living, how i look and how I feel about myself. Finally i felt the need to make a change.
Passover 2014

Passover 2014

Day 297 (March 22, 2014)

So I have a stocking new, today I have not and will not work out. I am really exhausted and feel I need to give myself a break. I am defiantly going to be working out tomorrow. I weighed myself but I did not lose any weight yet again. My doctors appointment is coming up hopefully it will help me progress in losing weight so I can be healthy. I had work really early in the morning today and did not get in to my house the night before until 1 am and I ended up getting only 5 hours of sleep. That was a hellish work day. I plan to go to sleep right after this and get up early to do stuff. I have my first real day at my job at the house and I am kinda scared. I am scared if I am able to do the job successfully. Due to my hectic schedule I am unable to do this job m,ore frequently, I really wish I was able to. I am right now trying to find balance. I think I have shown the lack of ability to do things in a moderate fashion, For me it is normally all or nothing. I life you cannot have that. I think allowing myself a break was just what I needed it. For instance working out for that long without stopping I already proved a lot to myself. 

Good luck and best wishes.

Till Tomorrow,

Jess Rose

Day 296 (March 21, 2014)

This is kind of going to be rushed because I have work in less than an hour. I am still anxiety ridden about getting things done. My am continuously feeling my heart beat out of my chest. I am just hoping to get back on the medication as soon as possible because this is ridiculous. I know I need the medication because of how much I am struggling without it. I am hoping something changes for the better and quick. Today I have an 8 hour shift and then I am going to the movies. I normally wouldn’t but my best friend went to see VM with me so as a trade off I am going to see the new movie coming out today. I have no clue what it is about besides what the commercials have said. 

Today is day 239 of my exercise routine. I am glad I was able to finish my routine before work today. I had cheerios for breakfast and I am hoping to eat healthy. Nothing much else to report and these type of things.

Good luck and best wishes.

Till Tomorrow,

Jess Rose

Day 295 (March 20, 2014)

I really stink and getting things done that I need to in the time allotted. I wanted to clean my room, do some school work and other things on my spring break, yet I couldn’t because of my stupidity with not keeping up with my ADHD medication. I feel myself struggling to be able to think properly and it gets me upset. I causes me so much anxiety to not get things done, I really need to try to work past my struggles till I get can get back on the medication. Wish me luck please.

Today is day 238 of my exercise routine. I am excited because in 2 days I would have completed another 30 day cycle. I am coming to terms with the fact that I am not going to be able to workout for 365 days in a row. But this working out this is about becoming healthy. In order for me to be healthy I need to learn to take time for myself and learn how to take a break. So this trip to North Carolina will be it. I have decided that I will try to live a healthy lifestyle for as long as I possibly can, hopefully a life time. I just want to feel good inside. I do not want to be like my parents struggling to live through life because of past healthy decisions or lack there of that were made.

I hope to feel less anxious and I am able to accomplish all I want to. I feel scared that I am unable to do it. It was not until I was off this medication that I realized at this point of my life how much I need it to navigated through basic daily living. 

Also I have pictures from my trip to the movie theater to see Veronica Mars.

Good luck and best wishes.

Till Tomorrow,

Jess Rose

Day 294 (March 19, 2014)

Yes, I managed to do this while the time was with the A.M., go me. Today I plan to go out with one of my best friends, watch the Veronica Mars Movie in theaters and get some work sneakers. I then hope to get home and get some cleaning and school work done. 

Today is day 237 of my exercise goal. I did managed to work out while it was still morning so that’s a step in the right direction. I am feeling the burn in my triceps while I am doing the triceps extensions. Even though that hurts I still like it because it is proof that I am making some progress in toning up my body and losing weight hopefully. I am still drinking the natural home made ice tea with berries infused into it. I hope to eat healthy today but I wont know if I follow through until the end of the day.

I am trying to find a balance in my life. On one side in need to be responsible and intelligent about my life choices. On the other side in need to live and experience life, have those moments where I act with abandon; those moments are what life is worth living for and what I will look back on and smile about. I know life cannot in reality be completely filled by those moments otherwise I would be broke and dead. I need to be responsible and still live a full and memory worth life. So I will tell you how it goes, if I fail I will either have a lot of fun stories to tell you which I would be writing in the library since I would have to pawn my computer to eat or I will be very successful but extremely unhappy with no friends.

Good luck and best wishes.

Till Tomorrow,

Jess Rose

Day 293 ( March 18, 2014)

Today was a completely chill out day so I pretty much got almost nothing done. I hope tomorrow I become more productive, fingers crossed. Today I bought my train ticket to North Carolina, I am so excited. Then I had dinner with my friends and I indulged a little but I need to live my life right?

Today is day 236 of my exercise routine. Besides water I am drinking home made mixed berry tea. I needed something with a little taste in it. I know it is late but I at least I am doing it. I am hoping to work out a lot earlier tomorrow. I also want to eat healthier than I did today. I have also come to the realization I will not make it to working out for 1 year because my trip down south correlates with the time I will need to be working out. So I will still work out but I was wondering if I can consider the week I will be down south as a break and keep on counting after I get home again. I dont know yet but I will let you know, I would love feedback on how I should go about this.

Right now I need to work out and get some sleep because my neck is so tense it is giving me a headache. All I need to do right now is take some mortin and some melatonin and then sleep it off. 

Good luck and best wishes.

Till Tomorrow,

Jess Rose 

Day 292 (March 17, 2014)

Happy St. Patrick’s Day for all those fellow individuals who are Irish or of Irish decent and those who are not but enjoying the day. I have been relaxing and I have an evening work shift since I never have any holidays off.

Today is day 235 of my workout goal. I managed to so it much earlier than I have over the past few days. I had some sweet potato fries today, not the best but not a bad thing and they were baked. I have not eaten much today I find if I stay upstairs in my room and away from the kitchen I can resist temptation a good majority of the time.

I am looking forward to tomorrow and the next day since this week is spring break I don’t have school/internship and obviously work, so free time yay!!! I plan to clean my room, do some laundry, try to do some school work that’s due soon, do some internship work that’s coming up do, organize some things, continue to work out and most importantly relax.  I also am going to have some fun with one of my best friends by doing some shopping for work sneakers. going to see the Veronica Mars Movie in theaters and probably having some type of meal.

My life has seemed to be going at warped speed. I have just hoping to catch up.

Good luck and best wishes.

Till Tomorrow,

Jess Rose

Day 291 (March 16, 2014)

So right now I have about an hour and 15 minutes till the day ends and this blog/ my exercise to do before it ends. I was sadly unable to workout before my job today. My sleep schedule is completely off, I find myself not falling asleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. This leads me to sleeping later because I need the energy to do things like work and exercising.I really need to reset my sleep schedule. I know because of my late work and school nights (usually not home until 10-11 pm). I need to try to take some melatonin  and get a goods nights rest. 

Today is day 234 of my exercise routine. I did it late in the day but I accomplished it. Today I ate pretty well. I had another bowl of Cheerios like yesterday. I had cranberry and nut trail mix as a snack. I also had a frozen mac and cheese for lunch, I did not have many choices it was that or hot pockets (no thank you). I had some left over chicken pasta  for dinner. I also tried to drink all water. I also have been keeping up with my vitamin intake. I am currently taking a Women’s muli-vitamin, B-12 and D3. I found out previously that my body does not respond well to regular vitamins, (TMI warning: If I do not eat excessive quantities of food before taking regular vitamins I get sick) so right now I am taking gummy vitamins and they do not get me sick, yay!!!!

I am currently on a track to use up all the lotions and lip balms I have, actually I want to try to use up a lot of the products I have but those are what I am focusing on. Yesterday I used up my purse hand lotion and now I am onto another. I am also considering going through my lip stick and lip gloss collection and getting rid of things I defiantly will not use. I have a lot of make-up and need to start to using up a lot of it before I even consider getting more. I also will never buy eye shadow ever again because I have so much and I have come to the realization that I will never go through a single eye shadow in my life, I also have every color I will ever need. I am just trying to stream line my life. I am trying to to shop except for necessary things. I am currently planning on getting new work sneakers. My current work sneakers have holes in them so bad you can see my socks in them, this is especially bad if I am wearing socks that aren’t black. I need good quality sneakers because I used them so often and I need good quality support so I can stand on my feet for 11 hours a day sometimes without my feet feeling like they are about to give out. This is something I would consider a work expense. I will tell you how it goes.

Good luck and best wishes.

Till Tomorrow,

Jess Rose 

Day 290 (March 15, 2014)

So it is also the time that I would be too late for this blog but I am determined to make it. So I am excited, I am going to go see the Veronica Mars Movie in theaters finally. I got the digital copy yesterday with my backer reward. But I felt the need to see it with the theater experience, and thank god my best friend is going along for the ride. 

Today is day 233 of my workout goal. Today for food I had cranberry and nut trail mix as a snack. For breakfast I had multi-grain Cheerios with reduced sugar almond milk. For lunch I had salad and for dinner I had a small portion of some type of pasta with chicken my mom made. I also drank all water today so yay!!! I sadly could not get myself to work out this morning before work today. But did manage to finish working out before the day ended after my shift. Hopefully tomorrow I am able to finish my workout before my shift tomorrow. 

I am happy with the direction my life is heading. I am graduating from college with my bachelors degree is social work in less than 70 days if all goes the way I plan, good grades and all. I am finally taking some time for myself by going on this North Carolina trip. I have two jobs, ones in my field of interest and will hopefully help me get to the next level of my career. I am slowly but surely getting rid of my credit card debt. I have got into the masters program so that in a little over a year I will have my MSW. I am taking care of my health by working out, trying to eat right, and going to doctors appointments. I am finally really planning for my breast reduction. I have some really good friends that I know have my back. My family is all in all okay or on the way to okay. I am really enjoying the direction I am going in and I just want to enjoy the rid. Yeah there is periods of stress and anxiety but that is what goes along with actually living.

Good luck and best wishes.

Till tomorrow,

Jess Rose